My Gram, is a wonderfull Grandmother, in fact she raised me for the most part. She did Chemo treatments for a year and a half, that failed, Hospice has been called in, and we are just waiting for her to go.. Everyone keeps telling me not to cry, it will make others feel worse, but I cant help it. This woman has been my life for as long as I can remember. ( Yes I am the baby of 5). How should i feel/ act. How can I accept it? How can I help Gram? If anyone knows any of the answers I would be thankful.
Answer:
This question made me feel really sad as my gran died in september 2001 and like you I was extremely close to her.I spent most of my childhood with her, and we were pals as well as relations.If u need to cry u must cry.Suppressing strong emotions is not good for u and u should grieve naturally.Of course you'll cry,its someone u love.I think its great you're cooking for her and with her every day.That alone will be fantastic for her.Grandparents love to feel that they mean something to 'young people'. Remember they are as young as you and I just in older bodies..In my grans final days and hours,though she was asleep I was there and they know..you're doing the right things, so take comfort in that.How should u feel? Sad of course,its human.If u didnt there'd be something wrong.How do u accept it? It takes time ,there's no short cut.Take solace in that she lived a good age and had people who loved her around her.
And it would be awful to see her alive if she was suffering,she must move on to the next world.. as is humanity.Her spirit will always be ith you, as my gran is with me today.Love..
You just need to let her know how much you love her. I know it's really hard but you need to realize that everybody is gonna die some sooner than later. I would advice you to just try to be with her as much as you can. I know it's hard but you will get through it! Good Luck!
i have been there it is ok to cry if you don't and hold everything in it will eat at you, and for how you should act i cannot tell you that, but it you just sit there with her hold her hand and just reassure her that everything will be ok if she goes and that she dose not need to worry about anybody but herself
Be yourself and if you need to cry its perfectly normal.
Tell your grandma how much you love her and how much you will miss her when she is gone. Pour your heart out and show her how much she means to you and how sad you will be when she is gone.
Its important to cry and tell those people in our lives how much they mean to us. If you dont do it now, you will not be able to later because she will be gone and it will be too late.
Hug your grandma and give her a kiss. Feel her warm hand because you will never be able to do these things after she is gone.
I just lost my dad and part of me went with him because nobody loves me like my dad did. I keep thinking about ways I could have said goodbye.
Answers, no. Support, yes. I have to say that crying is a very normal feeling at this time. When my wife was in the same condition and a few weeks from dying, I made sure that she knew how much I loved her. I told her that I thought it was unfair that it was her. We talked about many things. You will miss her very much, it is to be expected. Time will help. It has been four years since my father passed away and I still think that it would be wonderful to talk with him again. Get his advise. I think it less and less as the years pass. Our eldest son died in a drowning accident five years ago. I can't express the grief of lossing a child, but time makes wounds that can be endured. Although our son is gone, he left us with a wonderful daughter-in-law and a fabulous granddaughter.You can help your grandmother by being her friend and loving granddaughter. Just what it sounds like you have been all along.The best of luck to you, and your family.
Crying is the best healing there is besides laughter . Don't let any one tell you not to show your feelings,feelings are natural that's why we have them. Let your gram know that your there for her and you love her and tell who ever tells you not to cry that they need to get there feelings out too, they won't be so grumpy. and if you don't want to tell them that, go to the bathroom and have a good cry and come back in after you feel better. It took me 40yrs to cry because others didn't want me too and that did more damage to me then it did for the one i needed to cry over.It also shows that you have affection for that person. If you didn't cry in front of them they would think you had no feelings for them.
Please Cry if that is what you feel. Please feel free to allow ANY feelings you have to come forth and please do not feel bad about experiencing them or showing them. Please do not let others direct your own greiving. If you need or want to cry, I hope you do. Just as Death is a natural part of life, ...so is greiving and crying. If you deny yourself what your inner essence needs to do even if it is impromptu laughter, or anger, or crying, or moaning...do not stuff it. It can manifest later in your own life into a condition. Your Gram is a part of whom you are. After all, if she didn't exist,...you wouldn't exist. And, part of whom you are is actually her. Your bond is deep, and asking "How should I act"? ...the Answer is simple. Don't act. Just be natural. You do not have to satisfy anyone but yourself, and if crying is your expression of loss and love,.and the loss of love, you have every right and need to totally feel your human experience. We live in a society that is intolerant of others,....always trying to control others' natural behaviors and feelings. I pray you do not allow this to rule you in this most critical time and impending event in yours and your Grandmother's life,...and passing. As God gave you your Grandmother,...and as God gave your Grandmother life, and she in turn is responsible for giving many others life,..in his perfect love, he also gave us all and as well as you "Tammer".the ability and need to cry. Even "Jesus wept". I wish you my best, and hope God will embrace you and your family and your "Gram" during this time. I hope you find comfort and the many memories you have will sustain you with happiness after you get over this loss. Your Gram will always be alive inside you and in spirit and will always only be but a thought away. Just realize the transition may not be easy, but, I am a true believer that God will help you and bring you comfort.
Be you. . Let your heart tell you. Whatever you do, its' OK.
No one can tell you how you should act. Everyone goes through the grieving process differently. I know that this is a difficult time for you, I lost my dad when I was young. The only advice that I can give you is to let you Gram no how much you love her. And remember that even though the physical body leaves us, she will always be with you. It is difficult at first, but you learn to live with the grief. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you. I will be praying for you and your family.
Tell the other People to BITE YOU!!you need to greive what ever the way it's coming out!!my mommy died %26 that was my whole family no bro,so sister,i still have trouble excepting that she's dead with out going crazy with tears.tell gram everything you ever wanted to say!No matter what these are your last moments with Her,don't let ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU HOW TO FEEL! when she's gone there's no way to get it back .Unless she(gram) tells you not to cry,that's your grammie lying there do whatever you don't want to regret not doing right now.worry about everyone elses CRAP later,cause you can fight with them they'll still be alive!!
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